Once upon a time there was a man who only ever ate hotdogs. People would come up to him and be like, “Heya you guy! Why don’ta you eata any a’ my pasta primavera?” but he would just be all, “No way. I only eat hotdogs!” Everybody said he was crazy, but he swore that it was totally healthy. I mean, he wasn’t dead yet, was he? No he was not.
Then, one day, some inspector found some human fingers in a hot dog factory. He suspected that it was because the hotdogs were people. They were made of people! The government decided it would be best to just close down all the hotdog factories in the world for a little while. Needless to say, the man was very upset. He proclaimed that if he couldn’t have hotdogs he would eat nothing! Everybody came, from miles around, to try and feed him different things. Sundaes, pizza, fish sticks, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, steakums, frozen soda pop, low-carb salad dressing, hash browns. Everything they could thing of, but to no avail. He wouldn’t touch a bite.
Then later, he died.
And the moral of the story is: Sometimes you’ve gotta eat something that isn’t hotdogs.